You ask to understand me
(repay those days,
those years,
walking the same path,
of differing opinions)
to know how I think,
what I believe,
to know me as me,
not me as Erik.
(Inside to outside,
wear your purpose as a skin
rather than your lies as a shell,
the deception directed inwards
as much as to the world.)
To crawl beneath the skin
(caress the veins in passing,
a velvet touch to fire the blood
while drawing all the iron
from my spine)
find all those secrets
buried beneath the walls of flesh
so deep,
they fuse with the marrow
(secrets and skeletons)
and become life unto themselves
(as we adapt,
model our lives as
Wrap my heart around 'goodbye',
(while saying to you,
'forever')
pawn that diamond ring I bought,
back when I was still in love,
(ignorant,
my hands across my eyes)
before I learned to listen
to what was really there,
not just the lip synch,
(darkness from a open door,
eyes blinded,
that's not my name)
to what your heart said,
in it's routine beat,
(whereas mine,
skittering,
stopping,
turns to iron)
that steadily,
never wavering,
passes by.
Each year,
the little boy prayed
that among his gifts
(model cars and aeroplanes,
books and clothes,
those Hallmark cards,
with a cheque enclosed,
sent by distant, awkward relatives,
he had never met)
he would find a single small box,
wrapped in black silk,
bound by a silver ribbon,
that, when opened,
would contain neither jewels nor fantasies,
(though a dragon was tempting)
but an emptiness,
into which he could put all his memories
(once, he wished to be rid of only the bad,
but perfection is only seen through it's shadow)
and start again,
another life,
as another person,
free from the corrosion
that toxic life inflict